Posted: August 20, 2012 in Uncategorized

Having heard it all, from newly dropped albums ( liquor involved), getting a job, growing an afro to marrying a florist or a wedding planner, we decided to let you in on casual talk that Chengafunga and his gang of scallywags ( Kim, Frank-Einstein, Ali, Ras and Shaddie)  had to say on the premier league’s first game week. The setting, chill spot, Play Station on-FIFA 2012. Ali takes on Kim. It’s Arsenal vs. Chelsea. Meanwhile, the other goons are fooling around.

“Check out this Miguna video”  Shaddie tells Frank, as he passes him the laptop.

“Come baby, come!” Kim directs it at Ali, after scoring in the first five minutes already!

“Fala (fool)… shut up! Ntakusot..(I’ll still beat you)” Ali quips.

Ras, the Chelsea fan finally gets going.  “Eden Hazardous!”

“Oh he’s baaad!” Shaddie retorts. “He’s a wild one.” Chengafunga  continues.

Hazard starred in Chelsea’s 7 minute quick fire against Wigan that ensured Roman’s boys grabbed the first three points of the season. The Belgian put Ivanovic through for the opener and won a penalty that Lampard registered home with aplomb. Ras then takes a look at Ali vs. Kim’s game and rips into Ali.

“You are much better doing laundry than playing FIFA. We huchapwa! (You always lose) I don’t know why we even let you play.”

“Peleka  ujinga  mbali!”  Ali tells Ras to take his load of bunkum elsewhere. Ali is two goals down. He looks frustrated and everybody knows it.

“Cazorla!” Shaddie lets out minutes later after some good play by Ali. Like everyone else he’s following that game. Ali is putting up a fight as his effort from Cazorla rolls just wide.

“I had that covered. With JT…my defence is MEEAAN” Kim says even though deep down he barely survived.  Meanwhile, Ali is all business. He’s not losing this one. Not to Kim.

Cazorla put in a decent debut against a resolute Black Cats defence. The Spaniard almost grabbed one  and delightfully teed up Giroud only for the forward to blast wide.  So Just like Monsieur Wenger said, he could be one to look out for.

“Today, the Devil lurks” Kim a ManUtd fan casually states referring to tonight’s game. Ali has pulled one back in their game, but Kim isn’t one to be easily shaken.

Having seen City struggle to grab a winner, Kim’s confidence in United’s chances might just be true. Rightly so. Who would completely negate that, after the recent shocking capture of the Flying Dutch Man? Coincidentally, he scored the winning goals in all of Arsenal’s games against Everton.

“Everton nil-United 3.” Kim continues “With RVP and Rooney…war is coming!” he adds.

‘RVP is just another Na$ri…a football mercenary.” Ali quickly jumps in. The RVP hangover still agonizes him. Understandable for an Arsenal fan.

“Left footed bastard!” he mumbles on as he tries to seek an equalizer in the game. Time is running out.  

“Sour grapes dude.” Frank laughs off Ali. He and Kim enjoy troubling Ali. It’s double ecstasy for them, since Ali is losing.

Ali tries to make late subs in his team hoping for a comeback.  Arshavin , Gervinho and Ramsey for Walcott, Diaby and Mertesacker. He can’t stand being the whipping boy in the crew, so he tries everything . Anything!

United could send an emphatic message with a stylish win to their local rivals tonight. Considering that City stuttered against Southampton, The Red Devils will be keen to atone for the goal difference that cost them the league. Silva seemed to be on holiday but lucky for him, Nasri reported for duty and was very meticulous in yesterdays’ office work.

Meanwhile, Ali just lost the game to Kim and he’s already demanding for a rematch as Chengafunga and Shaddie try to wrestle him off the pad. They know Ali all too well to grant him his rematch.

 “Nipe rematch( I need a rematch)!” Ali keeps on.

“Ha ha.In your dreams…I’ll still beat you because you lack confidence, and ate bacon for breakfast.” Kim retorts.

“ Instead of a rematch, how about we lend you some self esteem?” Chengafunga tells Ali as everyone bursts out laughing.

“ Uko na ( You got )some Quan-chi skills though,” Frank offers Ali (Quan-chi meaning mad dribbling skills) “and potential too.” He adds.

“But we don’t deal with potential here. We deal with credentials!” Frank finishes off, and Ali can afford a wry smile.

Shaddie then goes on and on about the Tottenham game and how he fancies Ben Arfa for big things this season amidst interruption from the other guys. Names such as RvP, Podolski, Oscar, Vidic, Dempsey and Suarez are floated around before Kim points to the other pad and yells…

“Who’s next?” (referring to the next challenger) “He better show some skills. I don’t want to win easy like I did. Child play!”

That’s when it hits us, the new season is on, and if you look closely, every team has their war paint on. Indeed, war  is coming!









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